5th February, 2017 – The Night Before The Big Day
I’ve had a quiet day, ironically with it being my last day on injections, my blood sugars have been perfect, no highs or lows. What I like to think of as ‘the calm before the storm’. I opted for a lower carb dinner in hopes for a stable overnight.
Early bedtime, I want to be rested for tomorrow.
I feel calm.
❝I cried because for the first time in my life, I felt genuinely well and capable and healthy..❞
|The beautiful sunrise on my way to the hospital|
By 11am, I had inserted my first cannula, primed my first infusion set, navigated my way around the insulin pump and was officially.. pumping insulin! Off I went on my merry way, trying to soak every snippet of advice like a sponge. For the rest of the day my body was running solely on endorphin’s and insulin. I felt so good, every emotion I felt over the past year suddenly became worth it.
|God bless the NHS|
Mum and I went to a local pub for lunch, where I took my first ‘big’ bolus dose, the amount of trust you have to put in this small box is absolutely insane, and something that will take a bit of getting used to. We then walked home, my bloods behaving beautifully. I sat down for a grand total of an hour, and spent my evening with my sister, her best-friend and my girlfriend, a celebratory drink was had, and I learnt how to handle alcohol on an insulin pump. Okay, I lied, it didn’t go that smoothly, but I kept myself safe and that is all that matters!
I ended the night with an albeit not entirely sober cry, it had been an emotional day and I was so tired.
And so the adventure begins, the next few days were glorious, I was the picture of health and boy did it feel good.
My blood glucose levels were perfectly in range as I still had basal insulin in my system. I cried because for the first time in my life, I felt genuinely well and capable and healthy. As opposed to being exhausted and anxious about my blood glucose levels all the time. That feeling I felt on those initial days is my driving force.
Over the next few months I will be fine-tuning my rates, factors and ratios in hopes to re-gain control of my bloods. I’ve had a fair few wobbles, and my bloods are running extremely high whilst I work with my nurses and consultants to get things right, but I am okay. I am excited for where this journey will take me, and how good I will feel as a result of my hard work and resilience.
|My insulin pump and I, a work in progress|